San Fernando Lumbra: This was the first time I really looked at her.

5'9 brunette, blue eyes, plus sized, soft skin seeking man with good hygiene, brain, humor and heart. No republicans, crazy religious, drama or married/involved secrets. Be able to pay your own bills, hold a conversation, trim your hooves, laugh and kiss.

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Golden Glades Lecaros: They have all been mortal and I have devoured the life essence of each of them.

Hey guys, Well, I've been browsing the M4W section and whew...same people and spam over and over it seems. Here is a brief bit about me I'm 26, white, hazel eyes, brunette, not a skinny girl but I don't have to use the damn electric carts at wally world. I don't have kids, never married. I'm very down to earth and easy going. I'll listen to just about every type of music but christian and gospel. I respect religion, but I'm not religious. I'm a light smoker and a ocassional, mainly social drinker. I'm not 420 friendly. I own my own car, have an education and a full time job. I have a nice sized family and am close to them, but not calling my parents constantly. I've got friends, but no one who stalks me. I'm into just about everything from motorcycles to poetry. I'm generally quiet and respectful in most situations, but with close friends I like to have fun and have no problem getting dirty. I'm not usually a girly girl, but I can get dressed up every now and again. I've never had my nails done, but you can take me home to mom. I can be quirky, but never obnoxious. I want to be held and cuddled, but I'm not needy and whiny. You want to go have a beer with your buddies? Great. Drink too much? I'll probably nurse your hangover. You go drinking with your buddies and get a DUI or into a fight and then have a hangover? I'll probably drop every heavy object in the area and flip on every light. I can be sarcastic or sweet as hell. I'm not into the preppy/goody boy. Then again, I don't want a criminal record. Anyways, I'll quit ranting. I'm sure we can get to talk more later. If you think your interested, email me back. I won't email back and forth for weeks on end, but a girls gotta' be safe before meeting and giving out cell numbers. Take care guys.

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Rawalpindi Guice: My foot slipped between two slick stones and I fell into the stream.

Tonight, while I sip wine from a teacup in my lair and maneuver my Roomba through a knife fight with the neighbor's cat, a plan is quietly hatching. Chicago will wake up tomorrow completely unsuspecting. But you, sir, have a unique opportunity to learn why I need to freeze 80 gallons of jello, inflate a bouncy castle, and acquire seven pounds of assorted sized gears. Reply to this ad with your plans for world domination, your ideal lair, what you're looking for in a partner in crime, and your latest arrest photo. If I like what I see, we can meet incognito to discuss future plans and work on our maniacal laughs.

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